Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
