I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
