hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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