The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
