i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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