Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
