Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
