how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
