Michael Bay diarrhea
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
