we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
home. puking in laundry basket.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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