So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
