Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i think i just lost a toe
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
