I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sext me about skeletons
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
