So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
