Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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