Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
