idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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