I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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