Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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