I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
