Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
