This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i think i have herpe
just one?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
