The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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