So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
