I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
