Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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