I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
