using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
