What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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