you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
