I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You dont lie about slip and slides
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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