these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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