do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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