Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
