the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
