I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The beers last night were like the tears from god
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need to sanitize my soul.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
