Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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