We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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