Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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