He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
