You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
