I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
