wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
