i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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