If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
two words: eviction party
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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