oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
