We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
