I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
