I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
