Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
