Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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