we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
