I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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