no, he came in my armpit
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
